Big Change

I'm changing things up. This is no longer a blog for my family. Nope. Everyone always tells me - "take time for yourself"..."do something for yourself"..."keep something for yourself"...

So this is mine. This blog is alllll miiiiine. To write whatever the hell I please. Don't have to talk about kids, or husbands, or being a mom, or anything. I can vent. I can be funny. I can be vulgar if I choose. I can post pictures, or stories, or poems, or just really freakin' funny stuff that I find elsewhere.

I've been following the blogosphere for a bit of time now, and realize that my favorites are written by people who don't necessarily follow any particular theme all the time. They write what they want, when the urge moves them. Don't get me wrong, I love the advice, fashion, craft and most definitely, the wine blogs. But for me...for what I feel like doing...I'm going to just go along with my gut. Whatever moves me. Whatever floats my boat. I've never been good at keeping up with this blog, so maybe this will change things up a little. Perhaps it'll motivate me a little more.

And maybe, just maybe...if you're lucky...I'll post a picture or two of my kiddos and Clark Kent lookalike husband and let you know how they're surviving.

22 Things I've Learned as a Mother

This blog entry has been going around for a month or two now, and I just love reading them all...because I can relate. So here's my list of the 22 (plus a thousand!) things I've learned since becoming a mom to my two beautiful daughters. Most are on the lighter side, but you moms will be able to decipher the important messages from all of them.

1. Before kids (BK), I didn't realize how selfish I was. Now, I understand and I sometimes MISS being able to be selfish...just a little.

2. Hands aren't your only "hands." So are your feet/toes, mouth, butt, knees.

3. Showers are luxuries.

4. It's okay to leave your kids with a babysitter for a few hours on the weekend - even if they've been in day care all week.

5. I understand now why women get boob jobs.

6. The 5-second rule stands, and can be extended to 10- or 15-seconds if necessary.

7. There's nothing better than the smell of an infant's freshly bathed skin/hair. There's not much worse than the smell of baby vomit.

8. There's nothing better than the sound of a sleeping child's breath.

9. A clean house is NOT important. However, a husband cleaning a house is great foreplay.

10. Pizza IS a balanced meal.

11. "Perfect" comes in many forms.

12. Children can be teachers - I've learned some of my biggest life-lessons from my girls.

13. Santa is a great parenting tool. Turns out "he's watching" alllllll the time.

14. Expensive toys are never as much fun as tupperware, pots, and pans stacked neatly in a cabinet.

15. Snacks = Sanity.

16. Toddlers always have to pee after the snowsuit, hat, mittens, scarve, and boots are on...ALWAYS.

17. Bribery works. But so does offering choice.

18. Balance is essential - and the hardest part of my life to perfect.

19. Couch cushions make awesome castles, forts, trampolines, beds, and punching bags - as well as the best place to nap with your child on your belly.

20. Some days going to my office can be just as good as a day at the beach.

21. Youth IS wasted on the naive - and I wanna go back.

22. I am a GREAT mom.

Things that aren't toys:

The dog food/water bowls
Tampons
The toilet brush
The humidifier
The dog's tail (or feet or ears or hair)
Daddy's glasses
Anya's ponytail
Sharpie's
The dishwasher
The one electrical outlet I forgot to plug
Toilets
Stairs
Wire hangers
Door locks
The washer or dryer (inside or out)
Remote controls
The volume knob on the stereo
Dog Bones
Mommy's textbooks
Dirty underwear
Toilet paper

Oh hell. Fine. Have it.